Learning to Embrace Short Hair

I've been wearing my topper and my full wigs for almost three weeks now, and the confidence I've regained is awesome.  What is NOT awesome is the headaches I've also endured for those three weeks.  Nothing else has changed in my life, so I'm prrreeetty sure it's the helper hair.  It's not that the pieces are tight, it's just that apparently I have a super sensitive head.  Sheesh...Is living with a daily headache worth the return of my self-esteem?  Nope.  Sorry, Paula Young and Wigs.com--I doubt you'll be getting any more money anytime soon.  Instead, I believe it's time for me to focus on embracing a super short cut.

This was me about a year ago.

See that huge smile on my face?  That's not a fake pose for the camera; I was extremely happy with that cut.  I felt free and confident, sensations I hadn't felt in too long of a time.  Then after a couple of months, I decided to let it grow out again.  Why?  Because I want long hair.  In my head, that's who I *think* I'm supposed to be.  But I need to face the hard truth:  my body will no longer support long hair.  It just WON'T.  Oh, I can grow my hair long, but it will look HORRIBLE.  Look how cute and happy I am in that picture!  Why would I do that to myself over and over and over again, make myself miserable by trying to grow long hair??

I've spent so many years trying to defy a social system that believe middle-aged women should cut their hair; that they should not allow their hair to grow beyond shoulder length.  And if my body would let me, I would have long hair (I'm talking waist length or longer).  But the flip side of that is...it's perfectly okay to be a middle-aged woman and have  rock short hair.  Did  I ever stop to realize there's a reason why most women over a certain age cut their hair short?  (Hello, they're probably going bald, too, you big dummy.)

So yeah, when I get another pixie cut, I won't have to wear helper hair (unless I feel like it, and that's okay, too), because it looks okay with simply mousse and a bit of air drying.  I'm just waiting on my scissors lady to get back to me on a day and time (for the cut).  Short hair is awesome!  That's my new mantra! 

Helper Hair

Helper hair, a.k.a. WIGS!!!

So, it's been a few months since my last post, January to be exact.  Um, yeah, so basically I got tired of trying to make my poor, thin hair look decent** every morning, and I bought a topper.  Go here and you'll find an example.  
I used a topper before, about 6 years ago, but threw it away when my granddaughter was born.  I was at a point where (a) I needed to buy a new one, because those things don't last forever, and (b) I was afraid wearing a piece would send a negative body image to my granddaughter.  But I'm at a point now where I'm tired of feeling sad, and angry, and depressed about the top of my hair.  This is what it looks like:

My granddaughter is now 5 years old, and smart as a whip, so I'm pretty sure she can handle me wearing helper hair because it makes me feel better about myself.  Here's what the topper looks like:

(Please excuse the office bathroom supply shelf in the background. LoL)  It appears shorter than in reality because I have the longer bits tucked behind my ears, as I normally do with bio hair.  Also, I just ordered two full wigs earlier this morning, both in different styles and different colors.  Listen, I'm not trying to keep my wig-wearing a secret.  It's time to have fun with this hair thing!!  With wigs, I can finally achieve the different styles that were never an option with my bio hair, plus I can be a different color every day, if I want.  I mean, celebrities (female AND male) wear wigs, toppers, and extensions all the time, even if you don't realize they do; why shouldn't I? 

Now, I still intend to continue growing out my length, at least for a while.  I'm not sure I'll go beyond shoulder length, as it might affect how the wigs fit.  And wearing a wig doesn't mean you can ignore your natural hair; on the contrary, it still needs TLC.  Oh, speaking of my natural hair, I switched back to using Pantene products, as the Organix shampoo contained too much paraffin for my fine texture.

**Not even to the "good" level, just decent.