Learning to Embrace Short Hair

I've been wearing my topper and my full wigs for almost three weeks now, and the confidence I've regained is awesome.  What is NOT awesome is the headaches I've also endured for those three weeks.  Nothing else has changed in my life, so I'm prrreeetty sure it's the helper hair.  It's not that the pieces are tight, it's just that apparently I have a super sensitive head.  Sheesh...Is living with a daily headache worth the return of my self-esteem?  Nope.  Sorry, Paula Young and Wigs.com--I doubt you'll be getting any more money anytime soon.  Instead, I believe it's time for me to focus on embracing a super short cut.

This was me about a year ago.

See that huge smile on my face?  That's not a fake pose for the camera; I was extremely happy with that cut.  I felt free and confident, sensations I hadn't felt in too long of a time.  Then after a couple of months, I decided to let it grow out again.  Why?  Because I want long hair.  In my head, that's who I *think* I'm supposed to be.  But I need to face the hard truth:  my body will no longer support long hair.  It just WON'T.  Oh, I can grow my hair long, but it will look HORRIBLE.  Look how cute and happy I am in that picture!  Why would I do that to myself over and over and over again, make myself miserable by trying to grow long hair??

I've spent so many years trying to defy a social system that believe middle-aged women should cut their hair; that they should not allow their hair to grow beyond shoulder length.  And if my body would let me, I would have long hair (I'm talking waist length or longer).  But the flip side of that is...it's perfectly okay to be a middle-aged woman and have  rock short hair.  Did  I ever stop to realize there's a reason why most women over a certain age cut their hair short?  (Hello, they're probably going bald, too, you big dummy.)

So yeah, when I get another pixie cut, I won't have to wear helper hair (unless I feel like it, and that's okay, too), because it looks okay with simply mousse and a bit of air drying.  I'm just waiting on my scissors lady to get back to me on a day and time (for the cut).  Short hair is awesome!  That's my new mantra! 

Helper Hair

Helper hair, a.k.a. WIGS!!!

So, it's been a few months since my last post, January to be exact.  Um, yeah, so basically I got tired of trying to make my poor, thin hair look decent** every morning, and I bought a topper.  Go here and you'll find an example.  
I used a topper before, about 6 years ago, but threw it away when my granddaughter was born.  I was at a point where (a) I needed to buy a new one, because those things don't last forever, and (b) I was afraid wearing a piece would send a negative body image to my granddaughter.  But I'm at a point now where I'm tired of feeling sad, and angry, and depressed about the top of my hair.  This is what it looks like:

My granddaughter is now 5 years old, and smart as a whip, so I'm pretty sure she can handle me wearing helper hair because it makes me feel better about myself.  Here's what the topper looks like:

(Please excuse the office bathroom supply shelf in the background. LoL)  It appears shorter than in reality because I have the longer bits tucked behind my ears, as I normally do with bio hair.  Also, I just ordered two full wigs earlier this morning, both in different styles and different colors.  Listen, I'm not trying to keep my wig-wearing a secret.  It's time to have fun with this hair thing!!  With wigs, I can finally achieve the different styles that were never an option with my bio hair, plus I can be a different color every day, if I want.  I mean, celebrities (female AND male) wear wigs, toppers, and extensions all the time, even if you don't realize they do; why shouldn't I? 

Now, I still intend to continue growing out my length, at least for a while.  I'm not sure I'll go beyond shoulder length, as it might affect how the wigs fit.  And wearing a wig doesn't mean you can ignore your natural hair; on the contrary, it still needs TLC.  Oh, speaking of my natural hair, I switched back to using Pantene products, as the Organix shampoo contained too much paraffin for my fine texture.

**Not even to the "good" level, just decent.

2018 Happy New Year

Another new year, another opportunity for growing long, healthy hair.  :-)
I'm still using Organix shampoo and conditioner, and liking it very much.  I was just checking their web site to find out what sort of styling products they offer, if any, and I see one I'd like to try; the Bamboo fiber-full thickening root booster looks interesting.  I just have to find out which of my local stores carries it and, handily, there's a "where to buy" button.  Hmm, looks like I need to make a trip to Walgreens, or I may need to resort to Amazon.

One of the perks of my job is that all employees get a nice Christmas break, usually around 1 1/2 to 2 weeks off, depending on how the calendar falls.  During that time, I tried some Monat shampoo and conditioner samples a long distance acquaintance had sent me.  This woman and I belong to a supportive pro long hair group on Facebook, where I have shared my struggles with thinning hair.  She offered the samples to me months ago, but I declined.  After much thought and research, I finally gave in.  Here's the thing...I am 100% a skeptic, and my state's motto rings very true:  Show Me.  You've got to PROVE to me that something is real because I am not simply going to take your word for it.  I fully believe that most of these companies such as Monat Global are selling snake oil.  They're selling false promises and empty hope.  I'm not saying they're not made with healthy ingredients that make you feel better, etc.  But I think the average customer has to shell out way too much money up front in order to find out whether or not these products will work for them.  And yeah, I know, money back guarantee, blah, blah, blah.  Anyway, I'm getting off track here, lemme get off the rant train!

All right so, the Organix products have been working well enough that I really didn't want to mess anything up by suddenly using the Monat stuff.  But I had requested the samples, and I felt somewhat obligated to my long distance acquaintance, and I had plenty of at-home days where no one would see me (if things went awry).  So I took the plunge and tried the Monat s+c...I can't even remember which line it was; either the "intense repair" or the "let it grow"??  Hell, I don't know, and it doesn't matter, because the odds that Monat will give me thick hair are worse than money dumped into slot machines at a casino.  Listen, these sort of products may help some people, and God bless you if you fall into this category.  I have to face the reality that my problem, my condition, is not going to be changed by using this kind of stuff.

Current Products

Products:
Shampoo
Organix Thick & Full Biotin and Collagen
Daily Conditioner
None, only ACV rinse **
Mousse
Nexxus Mousse Plus Volumizing Foam Styler

Implements of Torture:
Detangling comb, hair brush (a normal one & a BBB**)

Method:
Mix 3/4 cup ACV with  1 1/4 cups hot water (I'm talking shower-hot, not stovetop-hot, folks), wet hair in shower, shampoo, rinse; carefully pour ACV mixture over hair, (covering eyes with free hand, just in case) rinse well.  Towel dry, apply mousse, comb into place, allow hair to air dry.


**Glossary of Terms
ACV rinse, apple cider vinegar rinse
BBB, boar bristle brush

12.06.2017 Starting Length

Will try to remember to post a picture every month to document growth.  Here's the first one, taken in the lovely ladies' room at my office.

About Me

I realize these introduction posts are necessary, but I hate them; so I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

I'm 55 years old, have thin hair (androgenic alopecia (male/female pattern baldness)), currently have a pixie cut, and have decided I want long hair again.  Aside from the thin hair, I am a healthy, happy middle-age woman.  The thinning hair results from (a) genetics--both my parents had thin hair (my father was bald), and (b) the "fallout" from not being on any hormone replacement therapy post hysterectomy in 2003.  (Ovarian cancer, stage 3a.)  I'm mostly able to conceal my thin spots, which are at the front hairline and at the crown.  The disturbing and scary thing is that I have no idea if or when the thinning is going to get worse.  Hey, I've been bald before (chemotherapy), so at least I know what I look like bald.  :-)

I had long hair most of my childhood, and from 2004-2009, which is when the thinning began.  Thin hair or not, I'd like to have it long again, if that's remotely possible.  This blog is to document my progress, and my product usage--what works and what doesn't.